Fear of Rejection
Do you have an unhealthy fear? I found out I do. And it affects my relationship with God and everyone around me.
I have felt some rejection as a child and as an adult and I just blew it off. It has affected me more than I thought. So how does this affect my relationships now? Well in order to not feel rejection I keep busy. Now I'm not always busy in order to not feel rejection. I am a go go go kind of person and I have a lot going on in my life that is not a coverup for the rejection I feel. I'm talking when it comes down to actually just sitting and spending time with someone getting to know them and actually loving. It freaks me out! I am extremely outgoing to a fault. I want to make everyone feel welcome and in and of itself that is not wrong. I like people to feel good. To the point where I'm not being honest to myself and to them. And because relationships freak me out when I meet people and they want to hang out I end up rejecting them. Go figure how fear of rejection turns into rejecting.
So what now? Well I say that admitting where you are at is the first step. So there. I'm one step closer to perfection!!! Yeah right I mean my goal of improvement. (As we will never be perfect so give it up now:)
Lord it's really tough to not be perfect. Thank you for your blessings, thank you for my family and for my friends who love me dispite my faults. Lord you are good and your mercies endureth forever.
Blessings to you as we improve together!
Alanne.